Intercultural Workshop Leaves Out Deaf Culture

Today I went to a workshop on intercultural communication.  It was an interesting program about how to communicate effectively with people who can’t speak/understand English well.  The first part was about misunderstanding due to cultural values and expectations, as well as difficulties learning to speak a new language.

A great emphasis was put on using gesture for communication.  Another point was about how people tend to misunderstand or misinterpret other peoples’ actions based on their own cultural expectations.  In other words, Americans make eye contact, but Mexicans may find that uncomfortable.  In some countries, women should never approach men.  Some countries nod when they mean no and shake their heads when they mean yes.  Some expect to barter and negotiate  library fines, because they do that in their own countries.  This can all lead to confusion, insult and anger.

At one point our program director provided a list of possible reasons why a person might ignore time limits on a computer, especially after being reminded by a librarian.  I was surprised to see deafness or lack of hearing not listed, and brought that to her attention.  She was appreciative then moved on to what she called the “cultural triangle.”

All the while she was talking about the triangle, she gestured with her two hands making the triangle shape.

Even though I am not a native ASL speaker, I became uncomfortable.  I looked away and tried hard to ignore it.  Maybe I am hyper aware because I am new at ASL, but it really, really bothered me.

We ran over time, so I couldn’t take her aside after class.  Now I wish I had her email.  I would like to tell her more about deaf people and Deaf culture. In the future she might be able to include that in her class.  Many of the communication options such as gesturing, drawing, and even speaking more clearly would have been helpful to deaf/Deaf as well as people from other countries, but I doubt others in the class would have connected those dots without someone pointing it out.  Many of the attendess were from other countries themselves.

I feel my ability to communicate with non-English speakers is enhanced due to a natural inclination toward gesturing, sensitivity to body language and inability to understand speech.

I am thinking of possibly talking to Human Resources about offering a class on accommodating the differently abled in the library.

 

The Gradual Shift Towards ASL in Oral Deaf Communities

In my previous post I included a chart that showed the ages at onset of deafness.  Three-fourths of all people who are deaf lose their hearing after age nineteen.  One interesting outcome of deaf mobilization has been the gradual acceptance of sign language as a viable form of communication for those who lose their hearing late in life.

When my hearing loss was first diagnosed, HLAA (founded in 1979) was in its infancy.   There was literally no place for someone with late onset hearing loss to get support or help from others.  At first HLAA focused on oral deaf people whose accommodation needs were different from the ASL-deaf.  At that time the ADA Act was being written.  HLAA’s mission was to ensure that oral deaf would not be forgotten.  For example, though we cannot hear, ASL interpreters are not as helpful to us as captioning.   HLAA’s goal was to advocate for those oral deaf whose first language was English.

However I think they developed tunnel vision in the process of focusing too much on certain accommodations to the detriment of others.  They became a bit exclusive and some oral deaf got lost in the shuffle.  I recall an oral deaf friend who showed up at an HLAA meeting signing.  Signing was her only option since hearing aids didn’t help and cochlear implants had not been invented.  She was told she was ‘too deaf’ for HLAA!  Those were the early days.

When ALDA came on the scene, their motto for communication was “Whatever works”  Late-deafened signers were welcomed from the beginning, and HLAA followed suit.  ASL vocabulary even became part of the program for my local HLAA chapter.  Just a few words each month would be taught.  Club members found it interesting and useful.  It is common today to see people using sim-com and ASL at all HLAA and ALDA functions.

One thing I’d like to point out is that both HLAA and ALDA welcome those who were deaf from birth.  There is a common misperception among oral deaf that HLAA or ALDA might turn them away because they were born with hearing loss.  While it’s true the majority of oral deaf are late-deafened, both organizations are welcoming of ANYONE who wants to join their cause.  I suspect this is because their main focus is on advocacy not culture.

But also, many people fit into a gray area.  Lots of people grew up with some mild hearing loss, then became profoundly deaf later.  Are they born deaf or late deaf?  Who cares?   Or perhaps you were born deaf, but you’re married to a late-deafened individual, and maybe one of your kids is Deaf while the other is HH.  Or maybe you are late-deafened, but ASL was your first langauge because your parents were Deaf.

One positive effect has been that deaf people of all stripes began coming to our events.  In turn, we began to recognize that their experiences and perspectives are a great asset to our community.  Comfortable in their own deaf skins, they are wonderful models of self-actualization– something the newly deaf struggle with as they come to terms with the internal identity shift from hearing to deaf.  The born deaf often exemplify what you CAN do as a deaf person, instead of what you can’t.

Additionally, the born deaf sometimes blossom in our presence as they find themselves in leadership roles amongst former ‘hearing people’ looking for answers.  Here, we look up to them as people with information and expertise.  It’s natural for them to pass on a few signs.

So what I have personally seen over the past thirty years has been a gradual blending of people who were once polarized within the oral deaf community.   We’re recognizing that we ALL need accommodations whether it’s an interpreter, CART, a dog for the deaf, or an FM system.  Being deaf is no longer about dividing people according to their accommodation needs.  The ADA was passed twenty years ago.

I can’t speak for the Deaf community, but it sounds like the walls are coming down there too.  With that comes greater acceptance of ASL in the oral deaf communities.

 

Thirty-some Years of Hearing Loss Progression

I’m way behind on reading what my blogging buddies have been up to. With family relatives visiting for the summer and all the projects we tried to squeeze in before the rains hit, we’ve had our hands full. It’s been a glorious summer here in the Pacific Northwest– a real summer with hot weather that makes you sweat. Most people in the Seattle area (I read 80%) do not have air conditioned homes because we normally only get about three days above 90 degrees a year. This year was different. It was enough to make people run out and buy fans.  TV ads recommended families to head for public air-conditioned spaces, which meant we had the busiest summer ever at the library.  Something like 45,000 kiddos pariticipated in our summer reading program– a record year.

Anyway, just recently I ran across Mog’s post on her hearing loss progression and it inspired me to do my own.  I encourage you to pop on over there because she does a great job in explaining the different stages of hearing loss.  First, I have to thank MOG because I learned some things about Excel 2007 while doing this project.  Secondly I have to apologize for the look of my efforts here.  I’ve never been good at using Paint.  I almost thought about re-doing it, but don’t have the patience.  Or time.

MOG’s hearing loss happened more quickly than mine.  She had a mild loss in 1994, and by 2009 she was ready for a cochlear implant.  My hearing loss was discovered when I was nineteen.  It was mild to moderate then.  Hearing loss doesn’t run in my family, so at first doctors suggested that maybe I had been listening to music too loudly.  Maybe I had gone to one too many rock concerts?

By 1984 I had a child, and had not been to a single rock concert.   At the time I was heavily into baroque music.  I played the piano several hours a day.  Though I was frustrated with the quality of sound I got from my hearing aids, I could still hear the high notes on a piano.  By then it was clear my hearing loss was not due to noise pollution.  I had medical testing done to rule out common causes of hearing loss.  It didn’t seem to be genetic.

An in-depth medical history turned up a couple red flags.  I had had measles;  (Didn’t everyone before they developed a vaccine?)  and I had been given streptomycin.  Both are known to cause sudden hearing loss.  My hearing loss is obviously not sudden, but doctors can’t rule out the possibility that either the measles or streptomycin damaged my cochleas, since both are known to cause hearing loss.

I was concerned and thought I should prepare for the future.  I brought up the idea of ASL, which was totally nixed.  Your hearing is too good.  The deaf will never accept you.  It’s a very difficult language to learn.   No one teaches it where you live. . . I got a book and started exploring it on my own, but they were right.  I had no one to use it with.

By 1993, my hearing was slipping into the severe ranges.  I was in my mid-thirties.  I learned the word ‘idiopathic’ after seeing it written on my chart in a doctor’s office.   It meant there was no known cause for my hearing loss.  Once again, I explored the possibility of learning ASL, but I really didn’t have a lot of time to devote to myself while raising young children.  Besides, doctors kept reassuring me that the hearing loss progression could stop at any time.  They had seen it happen before.  I took a couple ASL classes with my kids.  We learned to fingerspell and a few food signs, but not enough to be able to communicate well.  My third pair of hearing aids were not ‘digital’ but they were digitally programmed analogs and I thought they were pretty cool.

Some time around 2004 I had genetic testing done on my DNA to rule out genetics once and for all.   Two of my children had reached the age I was when the hearing loss was first diagnosed, and I wanted to be sure they didn’t spend years struggling in denial like I had.  Two of my grandmothers were adopted.  Even though both lived to old age with no known hearing loss, we never really knew much about their family medical histories.  I hoped the Connexin 26 testing would rule a genetic cause, and it did!  But of course nothing is ever certain.  Even though most known genetic conditions that cause hearing loss run through that marker, there is the possibility that some other genetic conditions have not yet been identified.  Those could run through some other marker.

My audiologist broached the subject of cochlear implants and recommended that I be tested around this time.  Though my speech discrimination was still good with hearing aids, he felt I should begin thinking about my future.  It wasclear the hearing loss would not arrest itself.  It wasn’t a matter of IF it would get worse, but WHEN.  It was getting to the point my audie may no longer be able to help me with hearing aids, he said.   My digital power aids were awesome and I had unbelievable speech discrimination despite the  low scores on my audiogram.  Speech tones were dipping into the profound ranges.    I began using the term ‘deaf’ to describe my hearing loss.  Neither my audi or I thought I would qualify for the implant, and I was quite relieved when I didn’t.

Five years and four CI tests later, I still haven’t qualified, other than for the hybrid which my insurance company considers ‘experimental’.  This past year my hearing had not gotten worse, but my speech discrimination took a huge nose dive.  It happens as we get older, my doctor explained.  Your ability to make sense of jibberish diminishes.

By now, I’ve learned more ASL, but my family has grown up with someone who speaks.  They’re busy.  My husband feels he’s too old to pick up a new language.  He could be right.  He’s nearly 60 and going deaf himself.  While I recognize ASL as a beautiful language, for me it is just a tool since I doubt I’ll ever be fluent.  Fluency requires practice with others who are fluent.  I speak.  Everyone around me speaks.

Even yesterday someone said she would never have guessed I struggled with my hearing because I spoke ‘like a normal hearing person’.  I cringed when she said it even though she meant no harm.  We’re ALL normal.

Many times I have thought about what might have happened if circumstances had been different.   If my hearing loss had begun nineteen years earlier, or if it had progressed as quickly as MOG’s, I might be using ASL more than my voice now.  I would still be the same ‘normal’ person, but would others see me in the same light?  It’s disturbing to think someone would judge how normal I am by how I speak.

And yet, many Deaf also judge me by how I speak.  The fact that I “choose” to speak rather than sign smacks of rejection of their culture.   But it wasn’t a choice.  I never chose any of this.  I’m merely trying to live my life to the best of my ability with the tools at hand.  That’s all any of us can do.

 

Photo Hunt: American Sign Language Entertainment

This weeks PhotoHunt theme is entertainment.  I don’t think there’s anything more entertaining than seeing your kid on stage.  This picture was taken in 2006, when my son was still in high school.  He took ASL because his mom has been going deaf his entire life.

In this picture, his class is signing to a song, though I can’t remember which song they signed to now.  I loved these concerts so much!!  Every year all the ASL classes put on a show and invite hh/deaf people in the community to attend.  It’s such a fun night.  The kids choose the songs, make the stage back drop, bring props and choreograph the performances.   It’s so great to see so many young people who know a little ASL.  I often run into former students working in restaurants and at Starbucks around town who can sign a little– thanks to  this program and others like it.  My son is not fluent in sign.  His first language is English, as is mine, but he can sign enough to help clarify what he’s saying with his mouth that it helps our communications quite a bit.  He is the fifth from the left in the top row– black shirt   I am so proud of the kind and caring young man he has turned out to be.

PhotoHunt

 

Sorenson Fixed! YAY!

I’m so excited.  I finally got my Sorenson working again.   Last night a  Sorenson guy showed up out of nowhere.   He needed to give me a new number because of some new FCC regulations.  But it was strange the way he showed up so late at night.   I told him my Sorenson wasn’t working, then he tested it and said it WAS working, but I kept telling him I didn’t think it worked.  Then he assigned my new numbers, and tried to call the CIR (I do not know what that stands for but I think it meant he was calling an interpreter because that’s what he did next.) and then the interpreter told him she wasn’t getting my connection or something. So he had to put in a new router that would piggy back onto my old router.  He’s coming back tomorrow and then everything should be all fixed!!  And I will be able to call anywhere!!! 

Which I can already do with relay, but it will be better if I don’t have to type.  We all know what a hassle that is when you have to leave a message in someones voice box.   I have had bad experiences trying to get hold of medical staff with relay.  By the time the relay person types out the message, the machine shuts off before I have a chance to type anything back.  Then they call back, which is stupid because I never answer the phone.  They don’t leave messages because of privacy laws (and even if they did I wouldn’t hear it.)  So what happens it I call, then they call back, then I call back, then they call back. . . (sigh)  Some people use a fax, but I don’t have one.  So I’m hoping the Sorenson will work out better– because when the call back I can answer the phone and an interpreter will tell me the message. 

I have been having a lot of signing coincidences lately.  And this is a good thing because I have gotten so out of practice since I don’t know many Deaf people and none of them live around here. 

Last month a lady from HLAA wrote to ask if I would practice ASL with her neighbor who was going through the same program I went through a couple years ago, so I’ve been practicing with her.  Then yesterday this Sorenson guy showed up.  He was here an hour and explained everything he was doing in ASL, and only had to fingerspell a few things out because I forgot the signs.   I think he was used to talking to numbskulls like me because he signed very, very slowly after I explained that I was learning ASL since I lost my hearing. 

And now today I was at a memorial service for my friend who died, and it turned out my friend’s cousin was Deaf.  I saw him signing in the church with his sister who is going to school to be an interpreter.  So I talked to him for awhile too. 

It is very hard to talk in a foreign language to a total stranger, but I do need the practice, and I’m grateful when Deaf people put up with me.   I know my sentence structure is backwards, and I have  hearing brain and I’m slow.  So it always amazes me when they actually GET what I’m saying because I know I’m not signing things exactly right.    

I’m just really glad all this has happened.  I think maybe it’s a sign that I need to sign more.

 

Comparing On-Line ASL Resources

I don’t believe American Sign Language (or any language) is best learned on-line, but it’s a fact of life that many of us who are late-deafened are extremely busy. Sometimes we cannot find any ASL classes nearby, and often when we do, class schedules conflict with work hours.

In the past few years I have discovered a few on-line ASL resources for those who don’t have the time or money to take a college class. Not only are most of these on-line resources convenient, they are also relatively cheap. One drawback of ASL books and dictionaries is how to convey three dimensional movements in two-dimensional drawings or photographs. Interpreting the proper movement can be challenging. On-line videos offer visibility of the entire hand-arm action and facial expressions used during while signing.

My favorite is http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/fingerspell.cgi This site shows the complete movement of each sign in its video dictionary including facial expressions. Within the dictionary is a section on conversational phrases, which I think is a really COOL feature! It also offers fingerspelling quizzes where one can choose speeds of slow, medium or fast. Additionally there are word quizzes, and a special section devoted to religious words.

The two main drawbacks of this site are that there’s no curriculum to follow. It’s a great study tool to compliment course work, but doesn’t offer a curriculum of its own. Secondly a few of the signs are different from signs in the course books I’ve been using. They may also be different from regional signs one uses in their particular area. Thirdly the fingerspelling quiz isn’t the best one, because it only has three speeds and you can’t adjust the length of your words. However, I personally like this site the best.

Dr. Bill Vicars fingerspelling quiz is way better than ASL Pros. http://asl.ms/ It has slow, medium, fast and “deaf” speed. haha! which is like “light speed.” Because you can choose the word size, there’s more flexibility in adjusting for improvement. This fingerspelling quiz is connected to ASL University at http://www.lifeprint.com/ Lifeprint offers three courses in ASL, including grammar and cultural information about the Deaf. The course is completely free, unless you want to take it for college credit– which you CAN do from home! The site is full of info, but one drawback is it’s dictionary isn’t in video. Dr. Vicars demonstrates the signs in a series of pictures that can be hard to follow. Also he doesn’t show much facial expression. Still, if used in conjunction with aslpro.com, you could learn quite a bit of ASL on your own.

Here’s another video dictionary– the ASL Browser http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm from Michigan State University. I don’t like this dictionary as well as the first one I mentioned in ASL Pro because her facial expressions aren’t right, but if you just want to get an idea how to move your hands, it’s OK. This site also offers a CD-Rom on ASL instruction for $19.95, or you can go to two other sites. One offers on-line courses with four month access per course, for $49.95 each. The other link leads you to an ASL book for less than $20.00.

This site http://www.lessontutor.com/ASLgenhome.html offers both ASL and Signed English (SE) for free. The pictures are primitive and hard to follow, but if used with one of the video dictionaries above, it might be OK. One problem I can see is a new learner could become confused between ASL and SE, which are grammatically different.

I love the way this site http://www.handspeak.com/byte/index.php presents cultural information. It also offers a free curriculum. However, there’s no fingerspelling quiz feature, and its video dictionary is slow, spasmodic and of poor quality compared to the others. Still, if you’re looking for cultural info, I think this site offers way more insight than any of the above.

Again, I don’t think this is the best way to learn ASL. Just as you wouldn’t become fluent in French listening to French tapes, you can’t become fluent in ASL by watching videos. Like any language it takes tons of practice and use with native speakers. But if you want to start with a few basics, then these sites would be a great place to begin.

 

Can You Sign. . . Parsley?

Seriously I’m stumped. I have this ASL project where I’m translating Peter Rabbit. He gets sick and needs to eat some parsley to settle his tummy. We’re not supposed to fingerspell, if at all possible. Is there a sign? I’ve got maybe seven ASL dictionaries around here. None of them have the word parsley.

 

My ASL Assignment

‘Now run along, and don’t get into mischief. I am going out.’

Last night we were given an assignment to translate a children’s story book. We were allowed to pick one book out of a pile my teacher had dumped on a table. I have always loved Beatrix Potter, so I chose The Tale of Peter Rabbit. I was thinking there would be lots of fun action and so on.

Now I’m in the process of translating English to ASL. I’m finding this a most difficult task mainly because there are times words will not adequately convey an action. For example, the act of placing a “sieve” over Peter becomes an exercise in establishing a classifier to indicate the sieve, then placing the imaginary sieve over a rabbit. There are simply no words for this, and I’m at a loss. So– I’ve written on paper how I would handle it in ASL, and I hope that satisfies her.

She’s Deaf, by the way.

My husband said the other day that he read somewhere (yeah I know, don’t quote me on this) that the English language has about four times the number of words, compared to all other languages. He was surprised by this fact, and so was I. The British also have a tendency to be wordy compared to Americans. I’ve heard British complain about the inadequacies of American vocabularies, as some studies have indicated that even British children have a much expanded vocabulary over American adults. As a culture Brits seem to LOVE words and tend to use new adjectives and word plays much more in their everyday communications– which we Americans see as the endearing British wit.

I had never thought about it before, but I’m now finding this story written by Beatrix Potter , a Brit, overly wordy for children, maybe because I have to translate it into ASL. This is HARD.

Sentences such as, “Peter was most desperately frightened,” have turned into “Peter scared!” But again that isn’t sufficient, since there are ways of signing levels of fear that don’t translate. We learned the word for “very” last night, since it was in the book, but my ASL teacher said to disregard it. Not needed. Deaf people don’t use it since they show the concept of “very” in their Deaf expressions. Interesting. I had been wondering about this for awhile.

The second half of the assignment will be to tell our stories to the class. We all suck at fingerspelling, so we are to present the story as if we’re telling it to children who don’t yet read. No fingerspelling. All the characters are to be given name signs and words we haven’t learned can’t be used. This gives you an example of where we’re at in ASL. We’re like children. I openly admit all your fingers look like a blur to me when you fingerspell.

Personally I think this is a wonderfully challenging assignment. Not only am I learning ASL syntax, but it also sends home the point of how difficult translation can be between English and ASL. I have a new found appreciation for those of you who vlog and transcribe or caption. It isn’t easy!

Global Language Monitor http://www.languagemonitor.com/wst_page7.html

Slate http://www.slate.com/id/2139611/

Ask Oxford http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutenglish/mostwords?view=uk

 

I Learned Something New

As many of you know I’ve been taking ASL for awhile. Tonight we were learning deaf conjunctions– the OTHER meaning for signs signs we’ve already practiced. My ASL teacher gave us many examples of the proper expressions– such as, “I walk, WRONG rain!” Most of you would get this immediately but bear with me as I explain to people who only speak English. What that sentence meant was “As I was walking, it suddenly started to rain. OK? Okay.

So one of her examples was she met a Deaf Japanese man in Washington D.C about ten years ago.

While they were talking she made the OK sign. WRONG! He took off. Why? Bad meaning – Japan (JSL). Evidently that means F–K. True story!

I had a fantastic time at the ASL interpreted play the other night. It was the first play I’ve been to in years and I understood a lot of the interpreting, which was especially exciting for me because I wouldn’t have understood much of the play at all without it. I’m definitely NOT 100% at this point. Without any hints I’m only getting the basic gist of a discussion. But with being able to lip read along with the play when I didn’t understand the signing and being able to look at the interpreters when I didn’t get what was said, WOW! This is opening a new world for me.

 

ASL Practice With My Husband

My husband and I took a couple beginning ASL sessions together two years ago, then he forgot nearly everything. He’s busy. We didn’t practice enough. I have deaf/HH friends who know a little sign, so I practiced with them and advanced more quickly, then he decided to drop out and I took more classes. To be fair, he isn’t a stupid man. He was fluent in German when we met, and he has taught himself French and Spanish since then. Normally he picks up languages quickly.

Now I’m taking ASL at the local community college, and finding I need to practice more often. So last weekend I asked him to help with my ASL vocabulary. Also, I thought maybe if he helped me practice he might pick up a few words. Sound like a good plan?

Breakfast seemed like the right time. I asked if he remembered the sign for bacon. We learned that before. He didn’t remember. I showed him.

“Really?” he asked in surprise, “Why are the fingers sizzling in an H instead of a B?”

“Whoa, great question!” I thought smiling. So I explained how the H looks more like a thin strip of bacon whereas the B- hand doesn’t.

Then I asked if he remembered the sign for coffee.
He made the sign for making out. I snickered and showed him the difference between “making out” and “coffee.”

Then I showed him “syrup.”

“Not to be confused with gas,” I said.

“Gas?” he piped up , “Which kind?”

“The kind you pump.” I showed him my fist. This is the tank, and here’s your spout. My right thumb became a spout.

“Oh!” he smiled mischievously, “How do you sign the other kind???” Men are just little boys in big pants, I thought to myself. Didn‘t my mom always say that?

I only just recently learned that “gas” sign. “Weellll,. . .” I made my hand into a fist again, “You see this fist can have another meaning. It looks like, er. . .an . . .something at the other end of your body. . .that can be offensive.“ He smiled broadly, as I traced around the index finger and thumb of my fist. He understood. Good, I thought.

“In fact,” I went on, “you don’t ever want to do the gasoline sign, stick your thumb ALL the way in, then pull it out with a jerk while frowning at someone or pointing at them. That’s bad. But the other kind of gas sign is. . .well, . . . you can make it look like air is coming out of your fist (which represents the other end) by filling up your cheeks with air, then pushing quick puffs out of your mouth while spreading your other hand out over the obscene part of the fist, OR you can just hold your nose.” I demonstrated. . .

“Why is it bad to. . .?”

“Nevermind,” I cut him off.

Next, it was time to practice. I’m terrible at lip-reading random words. Who isn’t?? There’s no context.

“mmmppfff” he says.

“What?”

Mmmmpppfff” he emphasized.

I still didn’t get it.

“MMMPPPPFFFF.” he said it louder, moving his lips in slow motion.

“Sorry, I’m NOT getting it.”

“You know–MPF!, MMPPFF!” He said in frustration.

“Can you fingerspell it?”

He thought and paused as he formed each letter carefully. I’ve been told by ASL teachers to be patient because man fingers aren’t as nimble as female fingers. I sat. . .waiting. . . patiently.

Then I was confused. “S-t-r-u-n-k?” I guessed.

“NO!” he gasped in frustration. “I forgot “tht– what’s THT?!?”

“tht?. . .ummmm” I thought hard.

Moving on, we proceeded down my list of vocabulary words. Several chapters worth. Each time I didn’t sign something exactly as it showed in the book, he’d correct me.

“Shows here TWO hands.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s OK to do it with one.” I would assure him.

“That’s not what it shows.” He’d argue.

“Well, I’m telling you it’s OK!”

“Look. YOU did THIS, and the picture shows THIS! He would hold up the book. “You did it WRONG.”

“NO. I. DIDN’T. Deaf people sometimes use one hand because the other hand is busy. They don’t ALWAYS sign everything exactly the way it shows in the book!”

“Well, I’m just telling you so you’ll know. . .And your other hand WASN’T busy! Do you NOT want me to say anything if you do it the wrong way? Because from now on, every time you make a mistake I just won‘t say anything. . .if that‘s what you want . . .”

(sigh)

Then he signed a sentence. “You, me, make-out.” Clear as day. His eyebrows moved up and down suggestively. And another sentence . . . “I horny.”

This was no accident. We learned “horny” a couple years ago in ASL after a German woman accidentally told the entire class how horny she was. “Horny” happens to be one of the few signs my husband has never forgotten. Why? He’s a man.

I adore him, but he’s a lousy study buddy. I don’t get much ASL practice at home. I need Deaf support.