Recently a subject came up on another list. One person mentioned that he had often been invited to talk about his hearing loss to his kids’ classes, and he felt good about being able to educate young children about hearing loss.
It reminded me of an experience I had when my youngest son took ASL in high school. The teacher was hearing. Apparently, this teacher liked family members with hearing loss to come to school and talk to the students. I’m not sure how I was supposed to know this. Nothing was ever sent home about it. Both my husband and I attended parent night two years in a row, and never heard anything about it. Additionally I attended an annual ASL production twice. I introduced myself to the teacher, and also told her I was ”deaf” both times. If she had wanted me to talk to her students, she should have mentioned it, but she didn’t.
After two years of classes with this teacher, my son decided he didn’t want to take ASL anymore. I sent an email to her as I was concerned that he was dropping ASL at the time. In the course of our communications it came out again that I had hearing loss. But this time she became enraged that I had never come to her class to speak to the students about it, as if I owed it to her! She claimed she never knew anything about my hearing loss, and even accused us of ‘hiding’ it, which simply wasn’t so. My son said he had told her several times his mom was deaf, and I believe him. He has never been shy about telling his friends or signing to me in front of them. I was taken aback by her strong upsetting reaction, and her accusation that it was my duty to volunteer with her class ‘as a deaf representative’.
It’s one thing to talk to a class when you enjoy doing that sort of thing and quite another to realize you’re expected to volunteer simply because you’ve lost your hearing. Keep in mind I am not fluent in ASL. At the time, I knew very little about Deaf culture. I’m hardly an expert on ASL/Deaf topics. It’s not the kind of thing I enjoy talking about. I would never hold myself up as an example of ‘the typical Deaf person’ to ASL students. Yes– I know what it’s like to lose your hearing, BUT that has nothing to do with ASL or Deaf culture. Never would I have thought a teacher expected me to volunteer to talk to her ASL students because I wore two hearing aids. The whole thing was quite bizarre.
So I’m wondering if others have had this same kind of thing happen. Do your kids teachers expect you to come in and talk about your deafness? Is that reasonable? I realize it can be educational to students, but isn’t it also presumptuous for a teacher to expect you to talk to her students? And what of someone like me who really isn’t a part of Deaf culture? Am I really a good representative of the population she’s trying to educate her students about?
In retrospect I was glad my son dropped that class. But I’ve always wondered about this. Is it our responsibility to go around educating everyone about deafness just because we can’t hear?
Filed under: ASL, deafness, hearing impaired, hearing loss, late-deaf
That’s terrible and unprofessional of the teacher to do that to you. I hope you kept the emails.
I don’t think it’s normal behavior for a teacher of any subject to do that to anyone. If you look at it this way, suppose your son was taking a First Aid class and he casually mentioned that his relative was a nurse, should that nurse then be expected to come to class as a volunteer to give a demonstration on First Aid techniques? No, of course not. It would be nice if the teacher sent home a letter asking if this nurse would like to volunteer and come to class to give a demonstration to the students. Sure, that would be alright, which also gives the chance for the nurse to either decline or accept.
Please talk to the principal about this. The teachers attitude toward you was really uncalled for and not necessary. Their behavior has affected your son so much that he no longer wants to take any more ASL classes. That teacher was really out of line. I do hope you do something about this. Would be interesting to see how things turned out. Good luck to you if do decide to approach this with the principal.
What an awful experience. The teacher totally missed the point that it was about your son’s opportunity to learn ASL and improve his communication with you.
I say you are not obligated ever to share about hearing loss, it’s completely up to you to say what you want to say and when and where you want to say it. That teacher was way out of line.
Sarah
Hi Sarah and Carrie, Thanks for responding! I could give you an ear full about this teacher, but wanted to concentrate on this one incident. You’re right that she soured my son on ASL. He loves the language and I’m sure he would have kept with it if not for the teacher. He has mentioned he would like to take it again sometime. All of my ASL teachers (Deaf) have been just wonderful!
Several views on this one:
You don’t have a “responsibility” to teach a class for your son’s teacher, unless YOU think you have a responsibility.
Your experience as a person who happens to be deaf is unique, just as every one of us. IF you want to share your experience, that should be your choice, not the teacher’s.
Now, think of the kids, who are struggling to learn a new language, just as you are, too. As you say, you’re not THAT good in ASL. It’s OK not to be! We all have to learn, somehow! So you being a person who is deaf, and is learning the language, too, makes it REAL for the kids.
I’m married to a teacher. I have taught, too. NOTHING beats a real, live, person who is walking the “talk” he/she’s trying to teach, to share their experience. The hearing teacher realizes that he/she is inadequate in this area and can never explain as you can, what your experience is like as a person who happens to be deaf. And there’s nothing better, if you’re a burned out teacher to have someone else do your class for you…smile!
You’ll always find jerks in the world. Yes, even teachers can be jerks.
Don’t blame the teacher for “souring” your son’s experience. Teach your son that there are great teachers, and there are good teachers, and there are lousy teachers. It’s HIS responsibility to make the best of his education! Dropping the class doesn’t help anything. Find another teacher, another class, and continue the education of learning the language. JUST because one teacher is lousy in a subject doesn’t mean you have to stop learning, doesn’t mean you have to “quit” and not move forward. What’s that teach our children of tomorrow?
Larry
It is so not your responsibility to teach the class. It is unreasonable of them to expect it, and definitely irresponsible to suggest it.