December 2008





[ Happy New Year ]

Originally uploaded by Đя εℓ7σв ♥ ~

The New Year is a great time to reflect. Looking through this year’s blog posts I realized I’ve learned a lot, not only about what’s happening in the world of hearing loss, but also about myself in relation to deafness. This list of observations will be the basis for developing new goals for the future as I continue on the deaf path. Thanks for reading, and thanks for your friendship.

1) Deaf friends rock!

2) I need a web cam.

3) Advocate for yourself, cuz no one else will.

4) People respect those who respect themselves and others.

5) It feels good to help those who are less fortunate.

6) I’m just not quite ready for the CI hybrid.

7) Some people are NEVER going to ‘get it’. Let it go.

8) Some awesome new developments are happening with hearing aids.

9) Some not so awesome ‘developments’ are happening with hearing aids. Beware.

10) The best hearing aids are not necessarily the most expensive.

11) I don’t have to talk about my hearing loss if I don’t want to.

12) I’m not Deaf or ‘hearing’, and it’s just fine.




Christmas Party

Originally uploaded by lapoeta

When I first began losing my hearing I was unfamiliar with the signs of hearing loss, so I didn’t address it for many years. I was a teenager at the time. I had constant tinnitus and a plugged ear feeling, but thought it would go away. I didn’t realize what I was missing. When you have hearing loss, you often don’t know how much you’re missing. I heard many things. Like a lot of people I thought that either you could hear or you couldn’t. I didn’t understand that a person could hear many sounds and yet be hard-of-hearing to speech.

I remember feeling a little bit like an outsider at school. I often wondered how other kids knew things I didn’t, like when an assignment was due, or that someone was having a party. I felt foolish when I answered questions inappropriately and other kids would laugh. Hearing loss can have a profound impact on your self-esteem because of the constant embarrassing mistakes we make trying to communicate with others, in addition to the negative stigma surrounding hearing loss in our society. Most often hearing loss is associated with being old. There are many jokes about deaf people who mishear something. The underlying message is that those with hearing loss may be less intelligent. When you’re a teenager it’s hard to believe you might be losing your hearing since the only people most of us have met with hearing loss were old. These are subtle negative messages, but they can keep us from confronting the truth and seeking help. I wish others didn’t have to go through what I did.

There’s no reason to ever feel shame about an inability to hear. Holiday gatherings are a great time to assess your hearing.

From Medical News Today

Hints And Tips For Identifying Hearing Health Issues At Christmas

Social season generates peak in hearing aid sales and test requests

Family gatherings and social get togethers over the Christmas period are a prime time to identify hearing problems and results in a peak of audiology tests and hearing instrument purchases in the New Year.

Hearing loss is a gradual and painless problem that can happen at any age. In contrast to dental or eyesight health, most people rarely get their hearing tested and deterioration often goes unnoticed.

It is during social interactions, often more frequent at Christmas time, that other people notice hearing issues. For example, constantly being asked to repeat sentences, ignorance during conversations, speech deterioration and gradual withdrawal are all signs that someone may have a problem that needs investigating.

“Watching the Christmas day movie at full volume, constant repetition of conversations around the dinner table and not hearing the rustlings of wrapping paper are early warning signs that a family member may have a mild or moderate hearing loss,” states Wendy Davies, Head of Audiology at Siemens Hearing Instruments.

Other hearing health warning signs to look out for include:

- Giving the wrong answers to questions
- Ignoring people
- Constantly saying ‘what’ or ‘pardon’
- Loud volumes on television or radio
- Difficulty in following conversations where there is background music
- Character changes such as isolation and withdrawal from social interaction
- Not hearing the telephone or doorbell ringing

The advice to individuals or family members that notice a potential hearing issue is to either go and see a GP or arrange a test at a high street facility. This will give specialist advice and rules out ear wax, infections and other medical conditions.

“If hearing issues are not addressed early enough speech problems can start to develop as the repetition of sounds start to deteriorate, plus social confidence can be knocked and people start to withdraw into themselves. This can then take its toll on an individual in working and social situations,” continues Wendy.

“Hearing loss still has stigma attached to it being an old age or disabling condition, which puts people off doing anything about it. However, glasses are worn for eyesight issues and braces for dental work, so why should a hearing aid cause embarrassment? The design and size of devices are now so much more discrete than perhaps people perceive, or can be fun to match outfit colours. The message is to live out loud, not fall silent.”

When I was at a party recently I asked a guy how he liked his CI.  Expecting to hear reports of wonder at how well he could hear again, I was surprised when he shrugged and said, “so-so.”  He went on to say that prior to getting the implant, he asked his doctor if he would be able to hear again and the doctor said, “It all depends on your attitude.. . You know what?” the guy said, “That’s bullshit!  Either it works or it doesn’t work.  Please don’t tell me it’s my ATTITUDE!”
 
I have to agree.  Who in their right mind would opt for an expensive procedure like the CI, then not do what it takes to learn to hear again?  Attitude?!  Obviously if you want to hear badly enough to have a powerful magnet  placed in your head, you’re going to work at getting some benefit out of it.
 
Reminds me of people who say one’s ability to fight off cancer has to do with their attitude– or worse– faith.  Why not just admit the drugs don’t work all the time?  It’s the same with the implant.  Sometimes it works great.  Other times?  Not really.  The success of the CI depends on a lot of variables too numerous to list here.  But because it’s known CI’s aren’t 100% successful, only people who have nothing to lose get them. 
Think about that.
 
So I’ve been reading Jodi’s blog about implants and children, and this subject of CI success has come up once again.  One commenter said,
 
While I am aware that there are children who cannot hear and speak as well as my (children) can with their CIs, the majority of those who are identified and implanted early and taught to learn to listen and speak will succeed. . .  

 

Which caused another to respond. . .

One needs to be realistic about this and consider that one study found that just 4% of the CI children are fully functional through all levels in hearing school. 

Asked to provide her source, she did– Here.  This is a 52 page report.  On page 11 there’s a chart that explains the 4.4% statistic and how ”fully functional” is defined.  84% are ’mildly’ or ’severely’ limited–with the majority falling into the ’severely limited’ range.  
 
I don’t know anything about Johnson, the writer of the report, but my gut tells me he’s spot on.  Because the success rates seem to basically reflect what I’ve seen among my implanted late-deafened peers.  And frankly because we all know that big people are simply little people who’ve grown up, there should be MANY consistent data  between the two groups– baby borgs and adult borgs.  I don’t know a single one who functions exactly like a hearing person with absolutely no need for any accommodations, though several adult borgs I know do have and use cell phones.  The phone thing– that’s iffy.  Music is another touchy subject among borgs.  Some enjoy it, some don’t.  Most still need captioned TV, and a lot of them prefer Captel phones, even though they can use a cell phone in a pinch.  A lot of them also use hearing dogs and various other accommodations for the deaf.  
 
Johnson was careful to point out that the need for accommodations doesn’t necessarily mean the CI was a failure.  After all, we’re dealing with a population who were profoundly deaf to begin with. They would have needed accommodations without their CI’s.  Someone who is ’severely limited’ may need fewer accommodations than someone who is ‘profoundly deaf’, so in my opinion, the chart illustrates an 88% sucess rate– not a 4% success rate.  It all depends on how you look at it.  But do most borgs function ‘exactly’ like hearing people?  NO! 
 
Yet, none of those I know who are ’severely limited’ with their CI’s have ever said they wished they hadn’t gone through with it.  Even the guy who said he could hear “just so-so.”   He still hears better than he did without the CI, so he considers it marginally successful– which is still sucess.    
 
Back to Jodi’s blog– Another commenter piped up. 
First of all, the editorial/analysis mentioned(it was not a study, really, as it had no data of its own) used not only extremely outdated data and equipment references, but did not separate children into success categories based on their methodology, parental involvement, age of implantation, and so on, . . . This is telling, because the sim-com and ASL popularity of the 70s, 80s and 90s would certainly create skewed stats and “failures” in data of early cochlear implants. Even today, I see lesser results from those who choose not to follow the path of best practices of CI habilitation (focusing on listening and speaking until one is on par with hearing peers). I find it humorous given that, of all the parents and kids which I’ve met with CIs (and, at this point, it’s dozens and dozens), I haven’t met anyone who didn’t actually function quite “normally,” indeed, except for a couple of children who are developmentally disabled.
*(The underlines are mine.)
 
 
REALLY!?  Maybe we need to define the word “normal” then.  He/she blames the lack of CI success on the wrong “habilitation” methods  and lack of parental involvement.  The RIGHT method (of course) is one that excludes any form of sign language and one that involves parents– the more parental involvement the better.   How could anyone measure “parental” involvement anyway?  And wouldn’t that be a somewhat subjective measurement in itself since any uninvolved parent’s answer would likely be a dishonest one?  What parent in a study would admit he/she’s NOT doing the ‘habilitation exercises’ with his/her kid?   But nevermind — the main point is that with kids it is evidently the parent’s attitude that determines how well the CI will work.    
 
Gimme a break.  Sounds like so much bullshit, doesn’t it?  I mean, either it works or it doesn’t work.  Couldn’t it be that one reason some parents choose TC over AVT is because they can see the dang thing ain’t working as well as they’d hoped? 
 
Couldn’t it be that the reason doctors won’t implant people with just a severe hearing loss is because the failure rate is so high they don’t want to take the chance of someone losing even a teeny bit of good residual hearing? 
      



I love you

Originally uploaded by rakibear

Over the past several months I’ve been doing some soul searching about my social life. I have some very close hearing friends who understand hearing loss to a certain extent, but I have found that most hearing people tend to drift away after a time. Eating out in restaurants is difficult, going to movies is near impossible (unless we can find a captioned one nearby), parties and plays are out. As my hearing has diminished, I’ve given up many social activities such as book club and involvement in charitable organizations.

I think I’ve mentioned I get a lot of migraines. While there IS a biological reason (I have mitral valve prolapse, and one of the symptoms can be severe migraine), I noticed that last summer during the month of July, I only experienced one mild attack during the entire month after drinking a beer. I can’t drink anymore without bringing on a migraine due to MVP. Lately I’ve been having six to ten migraines per month without drinking at all. Sometimes I have to be hospitalized because the prescription meds don’t work. Yet, last July I didn’t have any problem with headaches.

Why?

Well that month I spent a lot of time socializing with deaf people. I went to the IFHOH Conference in Vancouver for five days, then re-packed for the SWC Convention in Philly for five days. Usually the stress of two back to back trips would be enough to make my head throb in pain for several days. But the opposite happened. I felt GREAT! I came home energized and refreshed. For once I wasn’t the only one who needed to find a quiet spot to sit in a restaurant. I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t hear the waiter or announcements in an airport. While spending time with my deaf peeps, if I didn’t hear someone, others wrote on tablets and signed– automatically! I didn’t have to ask them to please sign it, or rephrase, or to write what was said. They just did it on their own. They KNEW. A few spoke in SimCom all the time. If I responded inappropriately to a question, no one laughed or looked at me funny. My deaf friends understood everthing, including the importance of captioned and interpreted events, texting instead of calling, and the need for access in every situation.

But as summer progressed into fall I began to feel further and further removed from the high I got in July socializing with my own kind. I experienced another decline in hearing and found myself straining more than ever to hear library patrons at work. Then began a downward spiral of headaches that lasted four and five days in a row and hospital visits.

Last year I never saw the connection between my hearing loss and headaches. Even still, I’ve come to realize my hearing is the same when I’m with deaf/hh people as it is when I’m with hearing people. Hearing really isn’t the problem. It’s the people. The deaf/HH communicate in ways I understand. When I’m with them I’m not forced into difficult hearing situations I can’t handle. Being with deaf/HH is probably the only time I ever feel ‘normal’– whatever that is. I don’t feel disabled or ’special’ with the deaf/HH.

The answer seems clear. I need to make an effort to hang with deaf peeps more often. More than once a year at a convention. And I need to make it very clear to family and friends that they MUST learn to sign.

Long ago, when my hearing loss was in its infancy, I told my husband that I would let him know when I needed him to learn ASL. I have not pressed it because I felt it might be too much to ask. I now realize that my headaches affect all of us too. So yesterday morning I told him in SimCom, “It’s time. I NEED you to learn ASL.”

He practiced the sign for NEED a couple times over his breakfast. Then we left together in separate cars. Just before I turned left to go to work, he pulled up next to me at a stoplight, and signed “I Love You. I NEED you.” God I love that man.

Today I went to an ALDA holiday party. I wish I could go more often, but the local chapter meets on days I work. Unlike other organizations for the late-deafened, probably half the people at this party signed. As always there was a mixture of languages and communication modes being used. Some only spoke ASL, some spoke only English. Some spoke English but needed you to talk back in sign. Some used Signed English, some didn’t know any sign. Some used Sim-Com. Some wrote on tablets and signed and lip read. I did everything, in addition to using a pocket talker. The motto is “whatever works.” And I certainly saw that in action today! What a wonderful group they are!

I was nervous about going. When surrounded by people who hear day in and day out, it’s easy to forget you’re not the only one in the world who can’t hear. As I entered the crowded room, the hum of babbling voices was enough to give me the jitters. For a moment I wanted to turn tail and run. But Christine noticed me standing there like a raccoon frozen in headlights, and came over to greet me. Then I saw someone else I knew, and another, and another.

I need practice signing. I have difficulties reading new lips in large crowds. Deaf lips are sometimes harder to read, and sometimes easier.  It depends on the person.

Some deaf talk too fast and too low when they can’t hear themselves speak. Most deaf people are more considerate about keeping beards trimmed and not chewing gum or covering their faces while talking. ALL understand that I’m reading lips. Unlike hearing people who feel uncomfortable with someone scrutinizing tongue movements, deaf people welcome it. They repeat and repeat even to the point of opening their mouths wide and moving their tongues just right so you can see a word has an ‘L’ in it. Often the unseen letter of a word, or the word itself will be signed while spoken. They know just what sound is tripping you up.

Talking too much can be a defense mechanism when you live in a world that expects you to hear. With hearing people it seems more acceptable to be the one who never shuts up than the one who can’t hear. I am not a talker. But I prattle when nervous. I have every bad habit in the book– bluffing, rambling, interrupting, mumbling, anything to deflect attention away from the fact that I’m lost in conversation with hearing people. I am working on it, but it’s hard not to fall back into old habits developed over thirty years of hearing loss while trying to accommodate others who got frustrated with repeating themselves. It would be nice if it were the other way around– which would be them accommodating my inability to hear by learning a few signs. But I’m a realist. Few hearing people have ever spent much time around those who can’t hear.

My signing ability is still awkward since I don’t get enough practice. Those at the party today were good about enunciating, and talking slowly. Or signing slowly while speaking, and repeating– either what they said or what they signed. Normally after the third repeat, a hearing person will make way for the punch bowl. Not the deaf.

I don’t blame them. It’s weird to have someone you hardly know study your mouth, face and eyes that closely– then respond inappropriately. One time when a woman told me she was getting a horse, I smiled and said ‘Fantastic!’ Later I learned she had said she was getting a divorce. A deaf person would understand. A hearing person looks at you like you’ve got three eyes on your forehead, then excuses herself. You find out a month later someone thinks you’re a snob because you didn’t respond when someone said something to you at a party, or you laughed when you were supposed to be serious or you didn’t laugh at a joke. They never make the connection between the hearing loss and the gaff until it’s explained– IF you get a chance to explain.

No matter how many times I tell them I’m lip-reading, they still inquire if there’s lettuce in their teeth after a time. Occasionally men have thought I was hitting on them. This is why I do everything possible to avoid holiday parties. There are simply too many chances for embarrassing misunderstandings. It’s enough to make me shake in my shoes just thinking of it.

So– I thought I didn’t miss partying– until today. This afternoon I had so much fun I realized AGAIN how much I love hanging out with other deaf people, how I love signing with them. They get it. They’re my PEEPS! Unfortunately deaf parties don’t happen often enough.